 Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris. |
| I'll take a redrum with a rellik please. |
| I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed? |
| I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever. |
| Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat. |
| A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both. |
| Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both. |
| Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life. |
| Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary. |
| True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't. |
| Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live. |
| Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart. |
| Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel. |
| He has your finger, but I have your heart. |
| As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone. |
| What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found? |
| Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool! |
| You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right. |
| Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source. |
| The only way to get under me is to get over yourself. |
