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Chris Rock Quotes

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Chris Rock
February 7, 1966 -
Category: Comedian

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.


Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.


I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.


If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.


Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.


A man is only as faithful as his options.


You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.


Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?


Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.


There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.


Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.


Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.


A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.


Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.


Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!


I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.


School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.


George Bush hates midgets.


I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.


Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.


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