| Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?
| Where would Jesus be if no one had written the gospels?
| Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?
| The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.
| We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens.
| If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.
| Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
| The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up.
| I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.
| If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?
| It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.
| You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.
| A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.
| People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scared of being alone.
| The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.
| Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.
| Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.
| Reality means you live until you die. The real truth is nobody wants reality.
| When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat?
| Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.