 I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder. |
| When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks. |
| There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all. |
| To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee. |
| I have no detectable hair style. |
| It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it. |
| I'm like a Dilbert cartoon. |
| My career is just kind of crazy. |
| I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those. |
| It's funny because it's funny. |
| To be famous and broke is hard. |
| You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun. |
| It's so crazy in Hollywood. |
| Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.' |
| In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends. |
