 I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra. |
| At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one. |
| The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine. |
| I understand your new play is full of single entendres. |
| When I was born I owed twelve dollars. |
| Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. |
| Satire is what closes on Saturday night. |
| When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay. |
| Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch. |
