 Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. |
| Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it. |
| If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. |
| Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house. |
| The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. |
| A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. |
| Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. |
| When the grandmothers of today hear the word "Chippendales," they don't necessary think of chairs. |
| I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. |
| Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them. |
| Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? |
| You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. |
| I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure. |
| A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. |
| Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent. |
| The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. |
| Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite. |
| One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind. |
| I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it. |
| I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? |
