 I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope. |
| A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world. |
| Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house! |
| I get paid for what most kids get punished for. |
| When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience. |
| Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. |
| People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius. |
| We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... or couldn't get better jobs in the first place. |
| I've had great success being a total idiot. |
