 Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him. |
| The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good. |
| My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. |
| Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. |
| Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? |
| A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. |
| You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. |
| You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float. |
| I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free. |
| When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves. |
| Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. |
| In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief. |
| America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. |
| I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. |
| You can only be as good as you dare to be bad. |
| My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. |
| The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time. |
| If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner. |
| Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. Topics: Love Is |
| I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom. |
