 I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid. |
| I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one. |
| I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling. |
| I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials. |
| I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off. |
| Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show. |
| The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom. |
| It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus. |
| If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. |
| This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected. |
| I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards. |
| People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is. |
| I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage. |
| I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day. |
| You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do. |
| Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day. |
| I have to stay true to myself. |
| Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil. |
| Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously. |
| Wow. I am really pretentious. |
