 By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live. |
| They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle. |
| Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it. |
| The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17. |
| And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. |
| I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing. |
| You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage. |
| I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it. |
| I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not. |
| But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. |
| I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. |
| That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive. |
| Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. |
| I really think everything is fair game. |
| It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it. |
| I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games. |
