 I broke down on Thursday, Nov. 3, and told Sheriff Howard Wells the truth. It wasn't easy, but after the truth was out, I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders. |
| I know now that it is going to be a tough and long road ahead of me. |
| I have prayed to God that he give me the strength to survive each day and to face those times in my life that will be extremely painful. I have put my total faith in God, and he will take care of me. |
| I knew from day one, the truth would prevail, but I was so scared I didn't know what to do. |
| I wanted to end my life so bad and was in my car ready to go down that ramp into the water, and I did go part way, but I stopped. I went again and stopped. I then got out of the car and stood by the car a nervous wreck. |
| At this very moment, I don't feel I will be able to handle what's coming. |
| Michael and Alex, I love you. And we're going to have the biggest celebration when you get home. |
| It hurts real bad to have that protection barrier between parent and child. |
| I dropped to the lowest point when I allowed my children to go down that ramp into the water without me. |
| The hardest part of this whole ordeal is not knowing if your children are getting what they need to survive. |
| I love my children. That will never change. I have prayed to them for forgiveness and hope that they will forgive me. I never meant to hurt them!! |
| I don't get to go out but an hour a day. |
| My children deserve to have the best, and now they will. |
| I felt like things could never get any worse. |
| I am sorry for what has happened and I know that I need some help. |
| When I get out... if I get out of here, I hope that maybe we can get back together and have more kids. |
| Why was I feeling this way? Why was everything so bad in my life? I had no answers to these questions. |
| I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I have done. |
| When I left home, I was going to ride around a little while and then go to my mom's. As I rode and rode and rode, I felt even more anxiety coming upon me about not wanting to live. |
| I was in love with someone very much, but he didn't love me and never would. I had a very difficult time accepting that. But I had hurt him very much, and I could see why he could never love me. |
