 I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is. |
| Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale. |
| There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it. |
| I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian. |
| How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican. |
| Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car. |
| Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars. |
| It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point. |
