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Andy Rooney Quotes

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Andy Rooney
January 14, 1919 -
Category: Journalist

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.


If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.


I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.


I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.


Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.


All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.


The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.


People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.


Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.


The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.


Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.


The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.


Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

    Topics: Computer

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.


When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.


Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.


Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.


Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.


The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.


We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.


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