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Dennis Miller Quotes


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Dennis Miller
November 3, 1953 -
Nationality: American
Category: Comedian
Subcategory: American Comedian

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

   

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.

   

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.

   

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

   

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

   

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

   

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.

   

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

   

I rant, therefore I am.

   

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

   

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

   

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