 A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! |
| Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. |
| Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. |
| If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. |
| Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. |
| Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. |
| A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. |
| The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. |
| Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. |
| Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. |
| There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. |
| Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. |
| The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. |
| Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days. |
| A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. |
| Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none. |
| Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. |
| The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. |
| Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. Topics: Computer |
| A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. |
