 A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie. |
| Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back. |
| Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't. |
| He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone. |
| Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money? |
| A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings. |
| The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise. |
| Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done. |
| Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air. |
| This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt. |
| Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death. |
| Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. |
| If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. |
| Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. |
| You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten. |
| One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills. |
| Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. |
| A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking. |
| Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough. |
| Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents. |
