 A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy. |
| I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost. |
| Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. |
| Criticism is the windows and chandeliers of art: it illuminates the enveloping darkness in which art might otherwise rest only vaguely discernible, and perhaps altogether unseen. |
| I drink to make other people interesting. |
| It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on. |
| A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward. |
| The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism. |
| Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few. |
| Love demands infinitely less than friendship. Topics: Love |
| The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. |
| Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote. |
| No man thinks clearly when his fists are clenched. |
| I only drink to make other people seem interesting. |
| A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart. |
| Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn't understand, he wants to know if she's tired. |
| Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man. |
| Common sense, in so far as it exists, is all for the bourgeoisie. Nonsense is the privilege of the aristocracy. The worries of the world are for the common people. |
| A man admires a woman not for what she says, but what she listens to. |
| Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles. |
