 A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock. |
| I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger. |
| My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. |
| I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness. |
| Do you know it was a year a ago today? |
| I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it. |
| They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults. |
| I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. |
| I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time. |
| My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. |
| I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else. |
| I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough. |
| I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me. |
| I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm. |
| Did you know that today will never be tomorrow. |
