 But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people. |
| I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard. |
| The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are. |
| I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time. |
| I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style. |
| I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great. |
| A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them. |
| No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there. |
| Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true. |
| I'm basically always on tour. |
| I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging. |
| So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits. |
| I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at. |
| If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night. |
| I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly. |
| Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice. |
| That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it. |
| The thing that bums me out about The Real World is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid. |
| I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men. |
| I am in love with Larry David. |
