 Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. |
| You struggle with your demons and you conquer them. |
| Young people are the key to this election. |
| We've had to be creative to get on the ballot. |
| William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. |
| I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma! |
| The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system. |
| Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people. |
| I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes. |
| I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us. Topics: Marriage |
| I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care. |
| A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life. |
| Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test. |
| We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning. |
| If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you. |
| If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus. |
| The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. |
| You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing. |
| I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow. |
| We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians. |
