 The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. |
| I'm a walking, talking enigma. |
| I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after. |
| At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. |
| It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. |
| Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised. |
| Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. |
| I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out. |
| Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. |
| And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. |
| I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. |
| It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often. |
| If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. |
| Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. |
| I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation. |
| Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror. |
| I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently. |
| I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there. |
| Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. |
| It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time. |
