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Lewis Grizzard Quotes

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Lewis Grizzard
October 20, 1946 - March 20, 1994
Nationality: American
Category: Writer
Subcategory: American Writer

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.


I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.


The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.


Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.


You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'


I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

    Topics: Funny, Family

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.


The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.


It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.


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