 My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. |
| His finest hour lasted a minute and a half. |
| A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. |
| Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. |
| There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? |
| Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. |
| Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. |
| Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. Topics: Age |
| What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. |
| It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core. |
| My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. |
| The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. |
| I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' |
| I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. |
| Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. |
| Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? |
| Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. |
