 I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. |
| Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. |
| My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. |
| The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him. |
| Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. |
| I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. |
| My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping. |
| We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. |
| Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. |
| My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. |
| Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. |
| I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. |
| It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. |
| I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. |
| I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. |
| I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. |
