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Robert Orben Quotes

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Robert Orben
March 4, 1927 -
Nationality: American
Category: Entertainer
Subcategory: American Entertainer

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?


Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.


With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!


If you can laugh together, you can work together.


In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.


Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!


A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.


There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.


Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.


Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.


Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.


Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.


Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.


Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.


Do your kids a favor - don't have any.


What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.


Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.


I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.


A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.


Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.


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