 There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. |
| One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead. |
| The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. |
| You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. |
| Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. |
| Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. |
| If a job's worth doing, it's too hard. |
| If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. |
| Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. |
