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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Page 4 of 8
Ambrose Bierce
June 24, 1842 - 1914
Nationality: American
Category: Journalist
Subcategory: American Journalist

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.


Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.


Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.


Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.


Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.


Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.


Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.


Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.


Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.


Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.


Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.


Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.


Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.


Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.


Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.


Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.


Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.


Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.


Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

    Topics: Marriage, Love

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.


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