 Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. |
| Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead. |
| Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. |
| Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. |
| Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left. |
| Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced. |
| Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity. |
| Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. |
| Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. |
| Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. |
| Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. |
| Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense. |
| Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow. |
| Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. |
| Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own. |
| Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth. |
| Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. |
| Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. |
| Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Topics: Marriage, Love |
| Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. |
