 As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. |
| Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. |
| Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. |
| The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive. |
| Polite conversation is rarely either. |
| Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. |
| Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. |
| Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. |
| Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk. |
| Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. |
| Food is an important part of a balanced diet. |
| I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. |
| The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. |
| All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. |
| In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. |
| Nothing succeeds like address. |
| I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. |
| I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? |
| In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. |
| Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. |
