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Fran Lebowitz Quotes

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Fran Lebowitz
October 27, 1951 -
Nationality: American
Category: Journalist
Subcategory: American Journalist

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.


Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.


Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.


The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.


Polite conversation is rarely either.


Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.


Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.


Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.


Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.


Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.


Food is an important part of a balanced diet.


I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.


The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.


All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.


Nothing succeeds like address.


I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.


I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?


In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.


Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.


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