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Fran Lebowitz Quotes

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Fran Lebowitz
October 27, 1951 -
Nationality: American
Category: Journalist
Subcategory: American Journalist

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.


Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.


If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.


Humility is no substitute for a good personality.


Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.


My favorite animal is steak.


Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.


Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.


I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.


When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.


Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.


Andy Warhol made fame more famous.


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.


My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.


If you're going to America, bring your own food.


Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.


There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.


If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.


You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.


No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.


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