 You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. |
| You look like a talent scout for a cemetery. |
| When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. |
| Take my wife... Please! |
| I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. |
| If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope. |
| I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him. |
| I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. |
| How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' |
