Youre here: Home » Famous Quotes » Jeff Foxworthy Quotes


» Famous Quotes Home

» Quote Topics

» Author Nationalities

» Author Types

» Popular Searches

 Browse authors:

Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

Page 1 of 3
Jeff Foxworthy
September 6, 1958 -
Nationality: American
Category: Comedian
Subcategory: American Comedian

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.


When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.


You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

    Topics: Education

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.


There's no down time any more.


I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

    Topics: Family

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.


The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.


I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.


I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.


I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.


You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.


It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.


That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.


If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'


If men have a smell it's usually an accident.


Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.


What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.


Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?


Page:   1 | 2 | 3

Privacy Policy
Copyright © 1999-2008 All rights reserved.