 A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. |
| Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. |
| Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. |
| Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble. |
| Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. |
| No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. |
| Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. |
| The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. |
| It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him. |
| When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money. |
| Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them. |
| The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. |
| Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. |
| Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. |
| Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely. |
| Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause. |
| A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower. |
| We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. |
| It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. |
| Listening is the only way to entertain some folks. |
