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W. C. Fields Quotes

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W. C. Fields
January 29, 1880 - December 25, 1946
Nationality: American
Category: Comedian
Subcategory: American Comedian

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.


No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.


Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.


Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.


It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.


Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.


Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.


The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.


If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.


Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.


The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.


Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?


Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.


I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.


On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.


A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.


I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.


It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.


I like children - fried.


I drink therefore I am.


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