 That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked. |
| Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. Topics: Marriage |
| I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. |
| Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. |
| Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. |
| Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die. |
| The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it. |
| In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. |
| Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. |
| A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. |
| Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. |
| Old is always fifteen years from now. |
| My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children. |
| Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. |
| You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. |
| Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy. |
| Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. Topics: Children |
| You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any. Topics: Funny |
| I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger. |
| It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful. |
