 It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Topics: Courage |
| How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? |
| Never order food in excess of your body weight. |
| Children make your life important. |
| A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. |
| I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. |
| When humor goes, there goes civilization. |
| I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. |
| I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. |
| Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. |
| Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. |
| I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. |
| No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. |
| Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. |
| If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. |
| When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. |
| Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go. |
| Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub. |
| On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings. |
| Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. |
