 A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. |
| I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. |
| I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. |
| I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. |
| Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. |
| My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. |
| I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30. |
| Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. |
| Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. |
| I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. |
| Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. |
| Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. |
| Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. |
| I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. |
| I must confess, I was born at a very early age. |
| My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. |
| The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths. |
| No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. |
| There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. |
| Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? |
