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Josh Billings Quotes


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Josh Billings
April 12, 1818 - October 14, 1885
Nationality: American
Category: Comedian
Subcategory: American Comedian

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

   

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

   

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

   

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

   

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

   

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

   

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

   

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

   

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has bin getting a little lower ever since.

   

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

   

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

   

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

   

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

   

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

   

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t.

   

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

   

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

   

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.

   

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

   

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

   

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