 The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. |
| Remember the poor, it costs nothing. |
| There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. |
| Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. |
| Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. |
| One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. |
| As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. |
| A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. |
| I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. |
| Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. |
| There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. |
| It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. |
| If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. |
| Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. |
| Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. |
| I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. |
| One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. |
| The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. |
| It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. |
| There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. |
