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Woody Allen Quotes

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Woody Allen
December 1, 1935 -
Nationality: American
Category: Director
Subcategory: American Director

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.


Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.


It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.


Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.


What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?


It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.


If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.


You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.


In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.


I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.


Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.


I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.


The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.


If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.


On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .


I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    Topics: Death

I am two with nature.


I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.


It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.


As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.


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