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Woody Allen Quotes

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Woody Allen
December 1, 1935 -
Nationality: American
Category: Director
Subcategory: American Director

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.


Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.


I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!


It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.


Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.


Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

    Topics: Funny Love

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?


Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.


Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.


In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.


I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.


I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.


I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.


Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.


His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.


To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.


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