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Woody Allen Quotes

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Woody Allen
December 1, 1935 -
Nationality: American
Category: Director
Subcategory: American Director

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.


I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.


If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.


I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.


When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.


I failed to make the chess team because of my height.


I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.


In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.


Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.


The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.


If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.


I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.


I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.


Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.


Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.


I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.


I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.


Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.


Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.


Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.


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