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Dave Barry Quotes

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Dave Barry
July 3, 1947 -
Nationality: American
Category: Journalist
Subcategory: American Journalist

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.


And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West.


Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.


Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.


To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.


Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.


Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.


You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.


We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.


Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.


Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.


The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.


In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.


The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.


Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.


The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

    Topics: Funny

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.


Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.


Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.


Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.


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