 There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good. |
| It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man. |
| A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. |
| The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression. |
| For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end. |
| I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. |
| It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously. |
| The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line. |
| Most people want security in this world, not liberty. |
| Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good. |
| To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess. |
| Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed. |
| Every man is his own hell. |
| Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. |
| Life is a dead-end street. |
| Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. |
| The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. |
| A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents. |
| I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine. |
| Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. |
