 Time stays, we go. |
| Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. |
| Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. |
| The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. |
| Historian: an unsuccessful novelist. |
| If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish. |
| I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. |
| Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. |
| It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. |
| If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. |
| Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body. |
| In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. |
| For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. |
| To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true! |
| Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. |
| A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank. |
| Adultery is the application of democracy to love. |
| No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby. |
| A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in. |
| The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor. |
