 Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. |
| I like to reminisce with people I don't know. |
| I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator. |
| Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday. |
| My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. |
| I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. |
| I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. |
| There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. |
| Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. |
| I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time. |
| I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. |
| There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. |
| I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific. |
| Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it. |
| At one point he decided enough was enough. |
| I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out. |
| When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. |
| My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. |
| Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. |
| Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. |
