 I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. |
| I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. |
| If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? |
| I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. |
| If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny. |
| If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? |
| If God dropped acid, would he see people? |
| If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen? |
| I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter. |
| I intend to live forever. So far, so good. |
| George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk. |
| I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. |
| Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. |
| Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night. |
| My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. |
| Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. |
| Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. |
| Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. |
| In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. |
