 It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. |
| I invented the cordless extension cord. |
| The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. |
| I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it. |
| Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? |
| I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. |
| I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it. |
| I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. |
| When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" |
| If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too? |
| I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. |
| Is it weird in here, or is it just me? |
| When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes." |
| I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." |
| So, do you live around here often? |
| Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. |
| I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. |
| I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. |
| I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. |
| You can't have everything. Where would you put it? |
