 Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. |
| The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. |
| I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. |
| Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. |
| Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. |
| I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. |
| There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. |
| Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. |
| Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. |
| Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. |
| A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. |
| Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. |
| Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. |
| There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. |
| Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. |
| People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. |
| Politics is applesauce. |
| It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you. |
| Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. |
| When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. |
