 There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. |
| The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. |
| People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. |
| I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. |
| There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. |
| Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation. |
| There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. |
| The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?" |
| If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. |
| All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. |
| A fool and his money are soon elected. |
| We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. |
| Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. |
| The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. |
| So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. Topics: Family, Funny |
| The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. |
| The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. |
| One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide. |
| Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. |
| The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. |
