 Thinking you're immortal is weirdly similar to being immortal. |
| It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either. |
| I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli? |
| Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are. |
| Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without. |
| Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car. |
| Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living. |
| The future and eternity are two entirely different things. |
| Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them. |
| We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude. |
| When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon. |
| You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog. |
| Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again. |
| Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos. |
| Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common. |
| People will always choose more money over more sex. |
| Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you. |
